What did they say at South

Park when they heard the

news about JFK Jr?





A man dies, and he's

standing by the gates of hell. There he sees John F Kennedy with an incredibly

ugly girl.


The man turns to the Devil

and asks why his JFK with

this hideous looking person.


The Devil replies, "Well, Jack

has done some bad things in

his life and that's his



The man looks around a little

more and sees Bill Clinton

with a beautiful model.


The stunned guy asks

"What's Bill Clinton doing with that model?"


The devil replied, "Well, that

model did some pretty bad

things in her life."




As Air Force One prepares to       land, the captain makes his         customary request over the         loudspeaker:


“Mr. President, would you

please return the Flight

Attendant to her upright

position and prepare to land?”









JFK Assassination T-Shirt
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lee harvey oswald with rifle
jack ruby shoots lee harvey oswald
jack ruby hero or villain ?
kennedy slain by cia castro mafia lbj teamsters freemasons
jfk conspiracy lone assassin






 John Fitzgerald Kennedy,  the 35th President of the United States,

was assassinated at 12:30 p.m. Central Standard Time(18:30 UTC)

on Friday, November the 22nd, 1963, in Dealey Plaza, Dallas,



Kennedy was fatally shot by a sniper while traveling with his wife

Jacqueline, Texas Governor John Connally, and Connally's wife

Nellie, in a  presidential motorcade.  A ten-month investigation from

November 1963 to September 1964 by the Warren Commission

concluded that Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald,

acting alone, and that Jack Ruby also acted alone when he killed

Oswald before he could stand trial.

Kennedy's death marked the fourth and latest successful

assassination of an American President. Vice President Lyndon

B. Johnson was subsequently elevated to the office of President.


In contrast to the conclusions of the Warren Commission, the

 United States House Select Committee on Assassinations 

(HSCA) concluded in 1979 that Kennedy was “probably

assassinated as a result of a conspiracy.”


The HSCA agreed with the  Warren Commission  in that Kennedy and

Connally’s injuries were caused by Oswald’s three rifle shots, but they

also determined the existence of additional gunshots based on

analysis of an audio recordingand therefore "...a high probability that

two gunmen fired at the President." The Committee was not able to

identify any individuals or groups involved with the conspiracy. In

addition, the HSCA found that the original federal investigations were

“seriously flawed” in respects to information sharing and the

possibility of conspiracy. As recommended by the HSCA, the acoustic

evidence indicating conspiracy was subsequently reexamined and



In light of investigative reports determining that "reliable acoustic data

do not support a conclusion that there was a second gunman", the 

 Justice Department  has concluded active investigations, stating “that

no persuasive evidence can be identified to support the theory of a

conspiracy in … the assassination of President Kennedy”. However,

Kennedy's assassination is still the subject of widespread debate and

has spawned numerous conspiracy theories and alternative

scenarios. Polling in 2013 showed that 60% of Americans believe that

a group of conspirators was responsible responsible for the



President Kennedy's motorcade route through Dallas was planned to

give him maximum exposure to Dallas crowds before his arrival,

along with Vice-President Lyndon Johnson and Texas Governor John

Connally, at a luncheon with civic and business leaders in that city.

The White House staff informed the Secret Service that the President

would arrive in Dallas via a short flight from Carswell Air Force Base

in Fort Worth to Dallas  Love Field airport.  At 12:30 p.m. CST, as

President Kennedy's uncovered 1961 Lincoln Continental four-door

convertible limousine entered Dealey Plaza,  Nellie Connally,  then

the First Lady of Texas, turned around to President Kennedy, who

was sitting behind her, and commented, "Mr. President, you can't say Dallas doesn't love you,"which President Kennedy

acknowledged by saying "No, you certainly can't. " Those were the last words ever spoken by John F. Kennedy.


From Houston Street, the  presidential limousine  made the planned left turn onto Elm Street, allowing it access to the Stemmons

Freeway exit. As it turned on Elm, the motorcade passed the Texas School Book Depository. Shots were fired at President Kennedy as they continued down Elm Street. About 80% of the witnesses recalled hearing three shots. A minority of the witnesses recognized the first gunshot they heard as weapon fire, but there was hardly any reaction to the first shot from a majority of the people in the crowd or those riding in the motorcade. Many later said they heard what they first thought to be a firecracker, or the exhaust backfire of a vehicle, just after the President started waving.


Within one second of each other, President Kennedy,  Governor Connally,  and Mrs. Kennedy, all turned abruptly from looking to left to looking to their right, between Zapruder film frames 155 and 169. Connally, like the President, a World War II military veteran (and, unlike him, a longtime hunter), testified he immediately recognized the sound of a high-powered rifle, then he turned his head and torso rightward, attempting to see President Kennedy behind him. Governor Connally testified he could not see the President, so he then started to turn forward again (turning from his right to his left). Connally testified that when his head was facing about 20 degrees left of center, he was hit in his upper right back by a bullet that he did not hear fired. The doctor who operated on Connally measured his head at the time he was hit as turned 27 degrees left of center. After Connally was hit he shouted, "Oh, no, no, no. My God. They're going to kill us all!"


Mrs. Connally testified that just after hearing a first loud, frightening noise that came from somewhere behind her and to her right, she turned toward President Kennedy and saw him with his arms and elbows raised high, with his hands in front of his face and throat. She then heard another gunshot and then Governor Connally yelling. Mrs. Connally then turned away from President Kennedy toward her husband, at which point another gunshot sounded and she and the limousine's rear interior were covered with  fragments of skull, blood, and brain. 

The Day The World Stood Still




dallas jfk route to murder

                                                                                        According to the Warren Commission and the House Select Committee on                                                                                            Assassinations, as President Kennedy waved to the crowds on his right with                                                                                          his right arm upraised on the side of the limo, a shot entered his upper back,                                                                                          penetrated his neck, slightly damaged a spinal vertebra and the top of his                                                                                              right lung, and exited his throat nearly centerline just beneath his larynx,                                                                                                nicking the left side of his suit tie knot. He raised his elbows and clenched                                                                                              his fists of his face and neck, then leaned forward and left.  Mrs. Kennedy, 

                                                                                        facing him, she then put her arms around him in concern.


                                                                                        Governor Connally also reacted after the same bullet penetrated his back                                                                                              just below his right armpit, creating an oval entry wound, impacted and                                                                                                   destroyed four inches of his right fifth rib, exited his chest just below his right                                                                                          nipple, creating a two-and-a-half inch oval sucking-air chest wound, entered   his arm just above his right wrist, cleanly shattered his right radius bone into eight pieces, exited just below the wrist at the inner

side of his right palm, and finally lodged in his left  inner thigh. The Warren Commission theorized that the "single bullet" (see single-bullet theory) struck sometime between Zapruder frames 210 to 225, while the House Select Committee theorized that its truck

exactly at  Zapruder  frame 190.


According to the Warren Commission, a second shot struck the President at Zapruder film frame 313. The Commission made no conclusion as to whether this was the second or third bullet fired. The presidential limousine was then passing in front of the John Neely Bryan north pergola concrete structure. Meanwhile, the House Select Committee concluded that a fourth shot was then fired at almost the same time, from a separate sniper, but that it missed.


                                                                                               Each body concluded that the second shot to hit the president entered                                                                                                    the rear of his head (the House Select Committee placed the entry                                                                                                         wound four inches higher than the Warren Commission placed it) and,                                                                                                   passing in fragments through his head, created a large, "roughly ovular"                                                                                                 hole on the rear, right side. The president's blood and fragments of his                                                                                                   scalp, brain, and skull landed on the interior of the car, the inner and                                                                                                       outer surfaces of the front glass windshield and raised sun visors, the                                                                                                     front engine hood, the rear trunk lid, the following Secret Service car                                                                                                       and its driver's left arm, and  motorcycle officers  riding on both sides of                                                                                                   the President behind him.


                                                                                               United States Secret Service  Special Agent Clint Hill  was riding on the                                                                                                  left front running board of the follow-up car, which was immediately

                                                                                               behind the Presidential limousine. Hill testified that he heard one shot,                                                                                                    then, as documented in other films and concurrent with Zapruder frame

                                                                                               jumped off into Elm Street and ran forward to try to get on the limousine                                                                                                  and protect the President. (Hill testified to the Warren Commission that                                                                                                  after he jumped into Elm Street, he heard two more shots.)



president john f kennedy the morning of his death


After the President had been shot in the head, Mrs. Kennedy began to climb out onto the back of the limousine, though she later had no recollection of doing so. Hill believed she was reaching for something, perhaps a piece of the President's skull. He jumped onto the back of the limousine while at the same time Mrs. Kennedy returned to her seat, and he clung to the car as it exited  Dealey Plaza  and accelerated, speeding to Parkland Memorial Hospital.


After Mrs. Kennedy crawled back into her limousine seat, both Governor Connally and Mrs. Connally heard her say more than once,

"They have killed my husband," and  "I have his brains in my hand."  In a long-redacted interview for Life magazine days later, Mrs. Kennedy recalled, "All the ride to the hospital I kept bending over him saying, 'Jack, Jack, can you hear me? I love you, Jack.' I kept holding the top of his head down trying to keep the..." The President's widow could not finish her sentence.


 Lee Harvey Oswald,  reported missing to the Dallas police by Roy Truly, his supervisor at the Depository, was arrested approximately 70 minutes after the assassination for the murder of Dallas police officer J. D. Tippit. According to witness Helen Markam, Tippit had spotted Oswald walking along a sidewalk in the residential neighborhood of Oak Cliff, three miles from Dealey Plaza. Officer Tippit had earlier received a radio message which gave a

description of the suspect being sought in the assassination and called

Oswald over to the patrol car.


 Helen Markam  testified that after an exchange of words, Tippit got out of

his car and Oswald shot him four times. Oswald was next seen by shoe

store manager Johnny Brewer "ducking into" the entrance alcove of his

store. Suspicious of this activity, Brewer watched Oswald continue up the

street and slip into the nearby Texas Theatre without paying. Brewer

alerted he theater's ticket clerk, who telephoned police at about 1:40 p.m.


According to one of the arresting officers, M.N. McDonald, Oswald resisted

arrest and was attempting to draw his pistol when he was struck and forcibly restrained by the police. He was charged with the murders of President Kennedy and Officer Tippit later that night. Oswald denied shooting anyone and claimed he was a  patsy  who was arrested because he had lived in the Soviet Union.


Oswald's case never came to trial because two days later, while being escorted to a car for transfer from Dallas Police Headquarters to the Dallas County Jail, he was shot and mortally wounded by Dallas nightclub owner  Jack Ruby,  live on American television at 11:21 a.m. CST on Sunday, November the 24th. Oswald was taken unconscious by ambulance to Parkland Memorial Hospital, the same hospital where doctors tried to save President Kennedy's life two days earlier. Oswald died at 1:07 p.m. Oswald's death was announced on a TV news broadcast by Dallas police chief Jesse Curry. An autopsy was performed by the Dallas County Medical Examiner at 2:45 p.m. the same day. The stated cause of death in the autopsy report was "hemorrhage secondary to gunshot wound of the chest." Arrested immediately after the shooting, Ruby later said that he had been distraught over the Kennedy assassination and that killing Oswald would spare "...Mrs. Kennedy the discomfiture of coming back to trial."


There are  numerous conspiracy theories  surrounding the assassination. These theories posit that the assassination involved people or organizations other than Lee Harvey Oswald. Most current theories put forth a criminal conspiracy involving parties as variedas the CIA, the Mafia, sitting Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson, Cuban President Fidel Castro, the KGB, or some combination of those entities. Some conspiracy theories claim that the United States government covered up crucial information in the aftermath of the assassination.


In 1964, the Warren Commission concluded that

only Lee Harvey Oswald was responsible for the

assassination of Kennedy. Subsequent

investigations confirmed most of the conclusions

of the Commission. In 1979, the United States

House Select Committee on Assassinations

(HSCA) concluded that a second gunman besides

Oswald probably fired at Kennedy. The HSCA did

not identify the second gunman, nor did it identify

any other person or organization as having been

involved. The acoustical evidence that the HSCA

based its second gunman conclusion on has

since been discredited.


Public opinion polls have consistently shown that a majority of Americans believe there was a conspiracy to kill Kennedy. Gallup

polls have also found that only 20-30% of the population believe that Oswald had acted alone. These polls also show that there is

no agreement on who else may have been involved.  Vincent Bugliosi  estimated that a total of 42 groups, 82 assassins, and 214 people had been accused in various Kennedy assassination conspiracy theories.


The assassination has been the subject of many time travel and alternate history stories in science fiction film, television and literature. 


In the 1980 novel  Timescape by Gregory Benford,  Kennedy's assassinaton was averted by a high school student who interrupted Lee Harvey Oswald at the Texas School Book Depository, attacking the shooter and sending the would-be fatal third shot awry. Although seriously injured, Kennedy survived. This interference created an alternate timeline in which William Scranton was the US President in 1974, having defeated Robert F. Kennedy due to a telephone tapping scandal.


 "Profile in Silver",  a segment of a 1985 episode of The Twilight Zone, features a time traveler (Dr. Joseph Fitzgerald) from 2172

who is sent to record the assassination, but who intentionally prevents it. The interference sets up a chain of events beginning with the assassination of Nikita Khrushchev that may culminate in a nuclear war that will destroy the human race. Fitzgerald realizes his folly in disrupting history and tries to reverse his disturbance. The timeline is ultimately restored when Fitzgerald takes Kennedy's place in the motorcade, while the president is transported to safety in 2172.


 "Lee Harvey Oswald",  the 1992 season opener for the TV series Quantum Leap, finds Sam Beckett leaping into Oswald's body. At a critical moment, Al Calavicci prompts him to leap into Secret Service Agent Clint Hill. Hill attempts to reach the President's car before the shots are fired, but he fails to prevent Kennedy's death. Calavicci later reveals that he and Beckett have saved one life–that of Jackie Kennedy, whom Oswald had killed along with the President in the original timeline. This episode was written by series creator Donald P. Bellisario, in response to the Oliver Stone film JFK. Bellisario (who served with Oswald in the Marine Corps) doesn't believe in a conspiracy; he used supporting evidence from the Warren Commission Report, and had Calavicci speculate that people find it comfortable to believe in a conspiracy, reasoning that if any one person can kill the President of the United States then nobody is safe.


In  Stephen Baxter's novel Voyage  (1996), the Dallas assassination attempt only succeeds in crippling Kennedy, but Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy is killed. Kennedy is re-elected in 1964 and commits the United States to landing a manned vessel on Mars, which occurs in 1986. The novel uses the assassination attempt only as the impetus for an alternate history US space program.


Stephen King's novel  11/22/63,  published in 2011, tells about a time traveler trying to stop the assassination.

lee harvey oswald 54018 dallas police



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